Never allow money talk to be a taboo topic in your relationship. It is never too early to start raising questions about it but waiting for the marriage engagement stage might be a little hard to start or it can be daunting. Money talk can actually make you grow a lot closer emotionally.
Everything starts with communication and a partner has to be a friend and a go-to person for everything including finance issues. We’re already navigating money on the first date whenever we decide to split the bill or check if the other person is leaving a good tip.” I think the more we invite these more mundane conversations about money into our lives, the more we will find that the communication flows”.
It is very critical to discuss the money matter as early as possible in the relationship. It shouldn’t necessarily be the very first date but the first few before things get to money problems that you might encounter.
You can start by asking basic questions like, “what does money mean to you? Or what is your view when it comes to making debts? Or how do you feel about discussing money openly?” discuss financial expectations openly and all the “what if’s”
With the kind of questions you ask you can pick up some way forward on the matter and be certain to ask in a way that it will create two-way conservation.
Duration determines level
Money habits are revealed over the course of a relationship. I believe you’re not going to ask a person you just met how much they have invested in their retirement. Because of this, the length of the relationship determines the level of financial talk. You can save these types of personal questions and start asking from the fifth, sixth, or even later date. However, all relationships are different and there is no magic rule that dictates a specific time to talk about finances. when you’re ready to ask and you know that your partner will be comfortable answering honestly, so you should ask. Ultimately, you and your partner decide when you are ready, never push too hard or force matters.
People have different attitudes to money, even if you and your partner have different financial goals, it’s always important to communicate those differences to each other. Remember that as your love for each other grows, your financial intimacy will increase, so don’t rush into money talks. Knowing how to discuss finances with your partner is important, but it takes time and practice.
We can’t ignore the talk as it will sooner or later catch up with you and later usually means problems. Practicing transparency involves more talk. Transparency allows you to give or receive advice or how you can be wiser with your financial decisions. A second opinion might help you see things differently or even help with how to budget better and do better. Transparency will further ensure that the money talk doesn’t remain taboo. This will lead you to the next slightly achieved point which is inclusivity.
When you are transparent it actually says I am including you in my finances hence I mentioned you slightly achieved this. But in this instance, decisions have to be made and each partner needs to know what financial decisions are being made so you have to involve each other with every step taken. Money errors occur, and if responsibility lies with one person, there is too much space for debt therefore blame and resentment instead of the connection. Learn together and make joint errors. After inclusivity comes equality
Allow Equal Power
By this, I’m referring to equal say without fear on decisions or suggestions irrespective of who makes the most money. There shouldn’t be any imbalance, let it be a partnership to avoid hurting each other or making one feel inadequate. It is actually not about money but building strong relationships with financial success. Equal power should birth a sustainable plan as well as flexibility.
Draw A Sustainable Plan
When all difficult steps have been dealt with both partners must commit to developing a sustainable plan. The financial plan that both of you create should be something that you both can stick to over the long term. It should make sense to you and your partner. Calculate how much money both of you want to save, how much you want to invest, or how much money you need to live the full life you desire. Make certain that it gives you the flexibility to continue everyday life with ease. Have a clear understanding of who pays for what and never hide the truth, especially debt. Table your money goals clearly.
The points made above if followed respectively should lessen the headaches and makes things easier in your relationship. Though others find it difficult to discuss matters but maybe pull out this article and read it with your partner as a way to start engaging him. If you have been married and have financial issues, know that it is never too late to start fixing them.
Here are few tips to look into as you embark on this rough journey:
*money is more than what you spend
*have an open mind
*combining finances or not, your partner’s money situation will sooner or later affect yours
*talk debts and loans
*draw a budget and stick to it
Money breaks up relationships and it makes couples fight a lot. Do your part to avoid all that by normalizing money talk from the onset and making it part of the normal conversations you would have at any time of any day. What can be more romantic than building a wealthy future from a well-constructed foundation? A problem shared is a problem halved.
**EVERY RELATIONSHIP DESERVES FINANCIAL FREEDOM & BY THAT I DON’T MEAN WEALTH BUT FINANCIAL PEACE BUILT ON A COMMON GOAL**