Most Women have the “it’s going to be okay” syndrome while we busy hurting so bad and dying inside in the process of it all. Women who stay in abusive relationships and marriages end up dead at times. The is always a way out, only when a fight is still left in you. This is a matter of you placing your own life in somebody else’s hands. Is being beaten up the sign of true love? Are you not important to some of your family members? What of your kids? Most importantly what about you? The one who matters the most is you. Put yourself first for a change. Forget about the kids, forget about everything else and think you and only you. You are important, your happiness comes first. If you are happy then your kids will be happy.
We sometimes need to hear the truth harshly so we can take a stand and make a change. We need to be told to snap out of it by someone who will not say it in a manner of trying to save your feeling. Unlike hearing the words “it will be ok” all the time that comes from a person who knows nothing about what you actually going through. No it will not be ok, a person can genuinely feel sorry for you but they can never really feel your pain no matter what. No two situations can ever be the same even when they sound the same. I often hear women say where will I go? How will I survive? I have never worked in my life so where will I start? All the questions in mind are brought by a sense of doubt in you. How about you start believing in yourself? You are useless because you tell yourself so not because someone else said so.
DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE
If only I were you I would get out, start living and creating my own destiny and happiness. No one is brought into this world to live under another’s shadow. As a mother ask yourself these: Are your kids going to thank you for seeing you miserable and crushed all the time? Or will they despise you for allowing them to be in a damaging situation that led them to think you were so weak you couldn’t even fight for them? You just might be surprised when they thank you for leaving the nightmare life they were in and giving them a chance of happiness. Happy mother raises happy kids but the sad abused one raises:
- Sad kids
- Future abusers/Molesters
- Troubled introverts
- Kids who struggle with their learning
- Street kids in pursuit of better life out there
Maybe if we put ourselves in the shoes of those kids we might think differently. A mother always protects and will do anything for her kids, but for some weird reason it’s like a case of abuse is exceptional. There’s absolutely no reason to allow suffering due to anything that can be easily changed by just a change of mind set. Change is inevitable and the fear of the unknown will deny you a possible better future. Nothing good can ever come from that endurance, it is not worth it. Cry out loud, help is out there waiting for you to reach out. It is not your fault that you are abused but it is your fault to continue living in that deadly environment.
As a woman without kids, how lucky you are because you have no reason to think for those little ones. Why do you stay? You can have more and the best somewhere else but you will never find that out while stuck where you are. Have no room for negative thoughts. We all have the ability and the potential to do something and make something out of our lives. Even the piece of cloth that we use to clean our floors is not useless because it keeps our houses clean. The advise we always get is “better the devil you know than the one you don’t know” or “endure because you might come across the worst than what you have” Why so much negativity? Why do we always choose to concentrate on it? Is that your worth? We deny ourselves a chance of happiness because we end up comfortable in our misery. Do you hate yourself that much? Do you not abuse yourself more than the abuser himself?
If you complain a lot then people end up acting all concerned about your complaining about the same thing over and over while you believe they feel sorry for you. Most will lie to your face rather than advise you to stop whining and get your act together. Complaining will not give you the help you need while going back to the same situation unless it’s done in a way of getting advice and utilizing that advice to the best of your ability.
Look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself I’m worthy, I have power over my life and I might not be bold for now but I will make it anyway. Some steps can be very intimidating but they are necessary to be taken. They say “A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step” Trees are rooted so they are stuck but you were given legs to move so move and the brain to use so use it. Take a stand, know your worth and start seeing the potential in you as no one will see it for you. Rise up and say no to abuse, use your strength and your personal experience to help other women out there. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there” – Theodore Roosevelt.