Even though every parent has their own different style of parenting, there are 4 main styles of parenting that I would like to look into. These four different styles are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and the uninvolved parenting. Most parents want to do what is best for their children & be the best parent as well. Some do exceptionally well & succeed while others completely fail at it. The truth is there is no recipe or manual for parenting so we all do what feel and think is best for us. There are many different parenting styles out there; these four represent a very wide range scale.
Uninvolved parenting is really just a lack of parenting or no parenting at all. It is hard on children and should not be the way of parenting. Kids suffer issues such as feelings of rejection, lack of self esteem, and issues with trust. In the long run the children are harmed emotionally and they start to be resentful. This kind of parenting involves or carries high risk of every negative outcome you can think of, like anxiety and depression.
Authoritarian parents are at one end of the spectrum. This kind of parenting tends to be high in structure and low in responsiveness. The vast majority of our parents who were born in the 50’s and earlier are in the scale of authoritarian parenting style or you can also refer it as the traditional style. Structure is important to authoritarian parents.
An authoritarian parent commands and demands without a question. The “do as I say” kind of a parent which can be highly effective only under certain or right circumstances. These style of parenting does not allow freedom of thought, action and goals to achieve. The parent word is final and as a child your only thing to do is just to submit to that word. A child’s freedom is non-existent or limited.
The words authoritarian and authoritative may sound a bit similar but they vary greatly, read through to find out the differences between them. The authoritarian parent lacks flexibility and the kids will view respect as one way making them see their parents as bullies. This might have an effect on kids turning them into being bullies to their peers in school. The other downside might be the rebellious behavior.
Permissive parents are then located at the opposite side of the scale. This parenting style tends to be low in structure and high in responsiveness. Children raised under this style of parenting tend to get used to get away with a lot of things. These kind of parents are often more like a friend than a parent to their children. They do not control the child behavior so the child is never aware of the limit of what is acceptable.
Permissive parents are loving but they neglect to keep their children under control. They are more laid back allowing freedom of choice about everything. Children raised under this style of parenting may be led to experiment with more risky social behavior, they may be impulsive and act aggressively towards complex situations. They will normally learn the hard way that in the real world there are consequences to their actions.
Authoritative parenting is a another parenting style, with both high structure and high responsiveness. The parents are involved with their child’s life, and are flexible, but they still are parents. There are structures, limits, rules and boundaries, but they are not rigid. Authoritative parenting tends to be located in the middle of the scale, and is a balanced parenting style. There are clear rules and limits and children know that there are consequences for their actions. Routines and schedules help provide a sense of stability for children. For example, a child knows when bedtime is, and a teen knows when curfew is, and both know what will happen if he or she is late.
Stability in this sense allows children to feel secure, and that, it turn, allows for an all around better atmosphere. There is flexibility in authoritative parenting that allows the parent to bend the rules on occasion, like if a child would like to stay up late to watch a favorite TV show.
Authoritative parents also are responsive because children have a voice in the family and the input is valued. Mom and dad respond to their children’s needs and problems and are sensitive to their children’s emotions and feelings. In authoritative parenting, most decisions are made collaboratively. Children have a choice, but only up to a certain point. Parents will listen to their input, and take into consideration what the child is saying, and feeling, but the final decision lies with the parents.
These types of families function as a team, and different needs are accommodated for. This results in less conflict and more balance. Children with this kind of parenting tend to do well socially and function well in life. They tend to not get into a lot of problems and not have serious emotional problems. This type of parenting according to research is balanced, and produces balanced children.
DO YOU CONSIDER ANY STYLE BEST?
I would like to believe every parent want what is best for their children and they believe they do what what is best for them. What style do you use or prefer? There are a lot of different ones that are not mentioned, maybe share with us what style you use or prefer. You might dominantly be using a certain style but I believe most of us shift and swing between all the styles.
The shifting and swinging may be due to the fact that kids grow so the child age, or how you woke up feeling that day or the child’s energy. You might be the authoritarian parent but for some reason you find yourself telling your child to do as the please for the day or be the permissive parent and be telling the child it is my way or the highway. Either way it is to each their own.
**YOU ARE NEVER READY FOR PARENTING NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO BE A PARENT**